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Fashionably Traumatized flip flop life

Fashionably Traumatized

When I first unboxed these flip flops, along with the rest of the batch that came in, I knew immediately which one to choose.

These were the classic “Sun’s out, guns out” flip flops, and with our upcoming trip to Bangkok where, although forecasted to rain on our parade, I still hoped to go swimming, they were the perfect pick.

Here’s the problem: I didn’t get to wear them to the pool – or to the beach, for that matter – even once.

The first time Olli’s met foot? On a family night out to a fancy restaurant. You see, I had forgotten to pack any formal shoes for the trip and was left with either my Air Jordan’s to wear with my nice blouse and jeans – which I was very happy to do – or my Olli flip flops.

Long story short, I got vetoed into wearing the Olli’s.

And thus, our strange journey began. Left, right, left right – “Ooh, these feel like walking on marshmallows!”

I squished my toes into the rubbery material and felt the satisfying give of the flip flop beneath my feet.

Really, these were probably the single most comfortable flip flops I had ever worn in my life sadly this was undermined by the knowledge that I would be wearing them to a fancy restaurant.

The whole situation felt like an arranged marriage.

The whole situation felt like an arranged marriage. We had to play the part of a happy couple, but in reality, while we didn’t necessarily dislike each other, the pairing was not exactly a “match made in heaven.”

The whole walk to the restaurant I could feel my Air Jordan’s sitting alone at the door of our hotel room; feeling betrayed at the outcome of the whole wardrobe situation.

That’s not to say they were ugly by any means – they weren’t.

It just didn’t have the style that was required by a high-end restaurant. They’re like your generic flip flop: large enough around the edges to fit the fattest of feet and straps lose enough to accommodate them too.

But, they work for everyone. It’s the trade-off that leaves you with flip flops that sort of fit but isn’t amazing on your feet.

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I tried to focus on the flip flops. The squishiness of the sole.

The feel of the material beneath my feet. Suddenly, my toes caught on the sewage-ridden sidewalk – the strap was too loose.

I commenced curling my toes to prevent further damage, but it was inevitable.

Again, another splash of muddy sewage water on my skin. Gross! 

We arrived at the restaurant, and I swear, I could feel all eyes on me.

More specifically, on my feet. I had to imagine myself at the beach to help me ignore the judgment of my attire, but that just made me feel like I was the latest contestant about to get voted off the island in an episode of ‘Survivor’; purely for my lack of fashion sense. 

Looking down at the shoes I noted that they certainly made my feet look good – if I could ignore the filth that had collected in the ridges of the rubber.

Seriously, these brand-new flips already looked like they’d been left in a shack for a few decades and had begun to collect mold. 

By the time we got back to the hotel, I was fashionably traumatized.

The Olli’s were just not the flip flop for high-end living.

But still, I could picture myself pool-side lounging and look good doing it, wearing my Olli’s with a fruity drink in my hand. Because that’s what these flip flops were made for – beach living.

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